her vagine was all disorganized.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Houston, we have a squirter
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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