goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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