Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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