Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
