Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
