Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
