So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
