the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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