In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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