somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
