I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
