Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we're making bets on your personal life
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
