She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
now i know why i became what i already was.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
