I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
