I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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