Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
