And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
