i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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