and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
