Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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