Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
