Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
