yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
