I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
