this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
