HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So drunk its hurt
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
