i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
