I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
This beer is not sobering me up at all
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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