ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the day after is always just damage control
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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