what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
