About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
