I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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