i already hear my dad disowning me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize