i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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