Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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