Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
