i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
