for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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