I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
