I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize