I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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