FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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