I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
