What a fucking waste of an outfit
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
