Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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