I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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