My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
