just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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