I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
