OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
