hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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