I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
