I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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