he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
