I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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