is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
