I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
