I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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