who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
