I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
